Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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