Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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