I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
