please come you make the beer taste better
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
