I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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