Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
i dont even know how to be here
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Randomize
