I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
