If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
