I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
