I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
