he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
