drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
