"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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