How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
