Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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