Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
