on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
