She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
