You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
