It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
