Just took my morning after pill in the library
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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