dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
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