haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
