Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I can't turn off my feet"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
