She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
