im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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