Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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