It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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