I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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