Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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