I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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