i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
