Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
