Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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