There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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