How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
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