my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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