you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I could make wine with my vomit
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
