I can't breathe out the right side of my face
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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