when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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