U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
where am i from again
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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