Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
