My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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