Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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