Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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