When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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