First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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