She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
