I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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