Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
