Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
